Simply Chaotic or Chaotic Simplicity

I finally got home to Pennsylvania this past November. I went home to see my mom and spend some time with her while my sister and her husband went out of town. It had been about 6 years since I had seen her. There was the pandemic, then I had to deal with my Cancer diagnosis with all the surgery, chemo, and diagnostic tests. Needless to say, I was very happy to finally get home. 

    Mom has some forgetfulness lately, but not too bad yet. It is enough for us all to worry about her being home alone, though. So far, she has done okay. I do wish I lived closer. I found myself contemplating the choices I have made that led me to end up staying in South Carolina. I sometimes wonder if I should still consider moving back to Pennsylvania to be closer to Mom. My oldest daughter and her son live with me, but my youngest daughter is in the Virgin Islands. I really don't have any other family here. I do have lots of friends, but even many of them have moved away over the years. 

    After completing my BSN, I decided to continue on and pursue my master's degree in public health. My theory was that if I decided to move back to Pennsylvania, I could potentially start over with a new career that is "sort of " related to the nursing I have done for 35+ years. I may even be able to find a way to do something from home. That would be a nice way to spend the last 10 or 15 years I have left to work! 

 

We do tend to miss home when we get older. I believe it's a nostalgia thing. The world is growing, developing, and expanding. The once quiet little suburbs and little towns around Charleston are now bustling from an influx of people over the last several years. Though I have gotten spoiled by the convenience of 24-hour stores, pizza delivery, and many choices for work and shopping; I still think at times that perhaps a quieter life is something I could really go for! 

Mom and I went on a train ride along the river while I was home. 

Bart, the "conductor/tour guide", in all his wisdom telling the story and history of the small towns, brought back memories of why I have always loved where I grew up. It also helped me understand why my mom won't leave, even with the offer to come stay with me in South Carolina. She really loves where she lives, and I am sure plucking her out of her home, would not be good for her. I totally get why she can't leave! 

    Growing up, family was important. That family has gotten much smaller over the years, and the newer generations are spread out, so there isn't the same closeness we had then from gatherings, small town events, or Sunday dinners. Mom feels the loneliness and misses those times. My sister and her husband try very hard to keep some sort of tradition and gatherings going, but it isn't the same as it was when we were all home. Usually whenever I do get home, one of the things my mom really enjoys, is looking through old photo books (before the internet and smart phones) LOL! She likes to reminisce of days gone by. Mom does not have a smart phone, no computer, and still uses a percolator to make her coffee! I am sure some of her occasional sadness comes from the idea that the world has moved ahead while she remains behind. She likes her simple life on one hand, but on the other hand, she gets frustrated that she has never tried to progress forward with the rest of the world. 

    Her simplicity and no desire to change is what makes me smile, though. I feel like she is preserving a life that most of us have long surpassed to keep up with the demands of technology and fast-paced growth in society. I miss her even more because of it!