About Me

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Spring Is Almost Here!

 

    I was reflecting on this time of year last year. My hair was beginning to grow back after chemotherapy, but I was still wearing scarves and hats. While on chemo I could not be out in the sun as much as I was used to. I am definitely looking forward to being out there this year. I tried to rake up some leaves today and I got tired relatively fast. I've determined it is due to lack of activity like so many in the colder months during winter. I put on some weight as well between working night shift and studying on my off days for my BSN (Bachelors of Science in Nursing). It is all excuses, I know! 

    Hopefully I can buckle down with the warmer weather and do what I know I need to do! Getting out in the yard more will help. I do enjoy yardwork, gardening, and playing in the dirt! I am a novice gardener, though! I find myself Googling my growing zone and trying to find out what interesting plants and shrubs will thrive in my yard. Charleston Horticultural Society has been a good place to find out native plants, shrubs, and trees that grow well here in South Carolina (Charleston Horticultural Society (chashortsoc.org)

Charleston Horticultural Society actually recommends finding local plants and shrubs while walking in the woods or around the neighborhood and just grabbing a clipping of them. I haven't tried my hand at growing much from clippings yet. 

    


     Most of my luck has been with wildflower seeds. I did have some pretty sunflowers last year! I still don't know if they are the type of flower that will come back every year, but I hope so! The biggest mistake I made was getting over-zealous about planting. I bought all kinds of seeds and just went crazy planting them everywhere. When some of them did well, others did not; then I had to deal with the sporadic flowers popping up in different places with no design or plan. I have good intentions of planting specific colors and styles of flowers in strategic places to create a pretty garden, but so far, I haven't been very successful. I try to convince my daughter that it is a work in progress. She doesn't think the same way I do! To her, it's just a big mess, but it's my mess! LOL! 

    I am already thinking about when I can get to the Home Depot and Lowe's to buy my garden and potting soil! I saved all my pots from last year too, so I am going to have a good time playing this year! My problem is I have no self-control! I tend to go a little crazy as I mentioned. 

    My theory is if I start planning now, I can come up with a design and layout in time for spring planting. I am determined to do it myself (with trial and error, of course). I have learned from my mistakes! I also learned that mixing peat moss with soil helps the seeds and plants grow better! 

    I did manage to buy a Crepe Myrtle Tree last year, and that actually seems to be doing well which is exciting. Living in the south I assume that fruit trees will grow well, but I haven't had as much luck with those! My sister sent me some baby Tea Olive trees and they were doing pretty good, other than the occasional trampling from my grandson or the accidental mow over by my daughter! LOL!

    


     We have a huge Maple tree in the front between our home and the neighbor's home. The leaves are bigger than my head! I have always stood strong in the idea of having trees in my yard. I like the birds and squirrels (when the cats aren't chasing them). With trees comes the hassle of raking leaves in the fall and winter. I didn't do as well this year getting out there regularly, but with spring arriving, I am sure I will be busy catching up. I am thinking of it as creating a canvas for my work of art! LOL! 

    I am grateful for the warm weather coming so I can get out of this funk! I am guilty as the next person laying around, binge watching tv shows, eating too much, and making all sorts of excuses to procrastinate. At least I did go back to school over the winter, so it wasn't a total loss. I still ate too much and sat around more than I should have. I know better! Going back to school was good for my brain, though! 

HAPPY SPRING EVERYONE!



Saturday, February 24, 2024

Learning Is Knowing

 

It's been a little over a year since my cancer diagnosis. I am still in the beginning of this journey compared to many. Summer of 2022 is when I got the original news and had my surgery. I have to go by "summers" because I remember how disappointed I was not being able to get in my pool after surgery. I had a total abdominal hysterectomy that summer. https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/abdominal-hysterectomy/about/pac-20384559. They also had to do something called a debulking (https://www.healthline.com/health/ovarian-cancer/debulking-surgery-for-ovarian-cancer ). It is a procedure to remove as much of the cancer cells as possible in cases where a tumor has attached itself and spread in other places. The second "summer", I had to return to the operating room to have a partial nephrectomy.

          https://www.healthline.com/health/kidney-cancer/partial-nephrectomy.  There was a spot on my right kidney that both the oncology gynecological surgeon and the urologist had recommended watching. I had to spend one more summer not enjoying my pool! This is why I measure my condition and progress by "summers". 

I am currently on Lynparza. This medication has been shown to help keep patients in remission after first line defense of chemotherapy is completed. I was on Taxol and Carboplatin.

    CARBOPLATIN-TAXOL - NCI (cancer.gov)

I have been on Lynparza for about a year. My provider was able to set me up with a specialty pharmacy that did not charge me a copay. The medication cost is about $7000 a month depending on how often it is taken. I do have commercial insurance through my employer, and some companies are partnered with certain pharmaceutical companies and pharmacies to offer assistance to help patient afford their medications. Lynparza is a medication by AstraZeneca. I do not understand how it all works, but I am forever grateful for the assistance. 

I spent some time thinking about alternative treatments, nutrition, mind over matter philosophies, and so much more with an uncertain future. There is a wealth of information available with putting in time and effort. I just starting my journey as I mentioned and writing things down "somewhere" will be helpful for me to keep a running record of interesting information I find along the way. 

On a fun note, I was introduced to this fun app called "Yuka". I have a Google Pixel phone, so I found it in the Google Play Store. The app has a feature that scans barcodes on food, and it will rate it based on a score out of 100, with 100 being the best, of course. It lists the positives and negatives, like protein content, fiber content, among others, and whether or not it has harmful additives. 



I like the app because it has so much useful information about what we are consuming. Some of the reading I have done during my treatment mentioned plant-based diets and trying to avoid preservatives and additives. Other readings talked about a Mediterranean style diet. In most of my personal research, a common finding seems to be "anti-inflammatory" and "antioxidant" foods. Well, most of these foods are in a plant-based diet. I couldn't see myself chomping on carrots or celery all day, so I had to find out what all was considered "plant-based". It turns out that beans and legumes, pasta, certain tortilla wraps, and many other things are actually plant-based, which made me happy. I felt like I could make small changes that could have some impact on my ability to live a little longer and improve my quality of life. I don't believe I have found the answer entirely, but this is a work in progress. I am sure I will change and adjust accordingly as I find new information and do further research. Right now, it's more of an inquiring mind that motivates me.

 

I also read about supplements. I try to focus on supplements that boost immunity, and have antioxidant properties, as well as anti-inflammatory properties. I had written in an earlier post about a few things I was doing at the time when I was going through Chemotherapy to help keep my immune system strong and help with the bone and nerve pain I was having occasionally. Quercetin is one of the supplements I still take periodically to help my immune system. 

" It is considered to show effect due to its anti-inflammatory, pro-oxidative, apoptotic, cell cycle arrest induction, and antiproliferation effects and is known to be an ideal agent especially in combination with other anticancer drugs"(Salehi, B. et al. 2020). 

Quercetin is a supplement that supposedly is found in things like berries, other fruits and vegetables. It is available as a supplement from places like Amazon and Vitamin Shoppe. I have not seen it in drug stores or places like Walmart with the supplements, so it has to be ordered online or researched to find who might carry it. I still take Vitamin C, Zinc, and Vitamin B-complex, along with a multivitamin. I was taking Turmeric for a while, too. My philosophy is that it can't hurt to try. I am certainly not in any position to say what works and what doesn't, but I am doing my homework when I can, to be informed as to what has shown to be potentially affective. I also belong to a few social media support groups to share with others and read what has worked for others. I haven't put myself out there like I want to, but I feel like I had to take time to process everything and get myself mentally in a place to where I can become actively involved in gaining knowledge and interacting with others who are going through this too. This journey continues. 


Salehi, B., Machin, L., Monzote, L., Sharifi-Rad, J., Ezzat, S. M., Salem, M. A., Merghany, R. M., El Mahdy, N. M., Kılıç, C. S., Sytar, O., Sharifi-Rad, M., Sharopov, F., Martins, N., Martorell, M., & Cho, W. C. (2020). Therapeutic Potential of Quercetin: New Insights and Perspectives for Human Health. ACS omega5(20), 11849–11872. https://doi.org/10.1021/acsomega.0c01818



 

Tuesday, October 17, 2023

Wow, Fall Has Arrived!

 

It's been a while since I posted. I guess I just got busy with work, school and everyday life! Autumn brings pumpkin spice, Bailey's Irish Creme and sweater weather. I do enjoy it, but not as much as summertime when I can be in the pool and out in the yard. It's not quite cold enough for the fireplace, but that is a positive in the cooler weather. I say the same thing every year, "where did the time go"? It's going to be Christmas before we know it! 


I did start back at school, and it is going well so far. I am not quite sure what exactly I will do when finished as having a BSN in nursing does not seem to warrant that much of a difference in career opportunities, but I will see. It's just something I decided to do for myself. I got some really good discounts with being a Veteran as well as the school partnering with my current employer, so why not? 

My health is doing well. I got my implanted port removed this week, have seen one doctor and am going to see another this week. I can't say that I am not worried about the cancer recurring, but I will hold out hope that at least it will stay at bay long enough for me to finish school and get my affairs in order so that I do not leave a lot of unfinished business for my kids to sort out. I have not been a good planner for the unexpected, so now I am trying to make up for lost time. It won't happen overnight, but perhaps within a few years, I hope. 

I get discouraged when I see people who are seemingly healthier than me, dying of cancer and other illnesses. It is especially saddening when they are what I consider too young to die. It makes me question whether or not I am doing what I should be in order to optimize my health. I could do more, but I feel like any changes I make should have a positive impact regardless of if I change my entire lifestyle or not. I do not want to stress over every little aspect of my life, but I will focus on a few areas that I am willing to change at the moment. I won't be that person that gets on a soapbox talking about how to cure cancer by any means. I don't even know if it will stay away at this point. I also don't want to be that person that feels sorry for myself and gives up. Keeping a positive mindset is what helps me maintain right now. Making healthier choices with food and taking vitamins and supplements, within reason and doable, is part of my regimen now. Those are just personal choices I made that I felt like were attainable and realistic. I am working on exercising more and to quit smoking eventually. One step at a time! "A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with One Step"...is a saying I had on a ring one time, and I love it. I have no idea who said it or where it came from, but it has stayed with me for a long time. I have since given that ring to a friend who was venturing out on a career change, and I told her to pay it forward and share it with someone else or return it to me at some time when our paths cross again. 

The impact we have on others comes back around to us. Feeling good about our actions towards someone else can make us more fulfilled and not so focused on our own problems. Even if our own lives do not turn out the way we would like, we can go to our graves feeling like we practiced even a little bit of love, kindness and gratitude. 

Thursday, August 24, 2023

Is Summer Almost Over Already?

 

    I realized this week that August was just about over! Labor Day is just around the corner and school started for my grandson this week. I spent so much time recovering from surgery this summer that I couldn't enjoy my pool...so I am making up for lost time now while I can! 

    I am finally back to work without restrictions as well...so it's full speed ahead for now. It's thought provoking when you have longed for some sort of normalcy to return, and it happens to be the busy day to day activities like work, paying bills, shopping, and so forth. I liked having some time off, but after awhile I just wanted "life" to get back to its chaotic mess. 

    I still found time to do some drawing and sketching. A friend of mine saw some of my "amateur" work, and asked if I would sketch a picture of a friend's little girl...so I did!

    I wasn't sure how it would turn out, but I am happy with it, as she was. I need some more practice which gives me something to look forward to. I hope to be able to spend more time on it once I finally do slow down at work and head towards retirement. 

    When faced with the "unknown" after going through illness and treatment, it definitely prioritizes those future plans "just in case" that dreaded cancer comes back. I will not over extend myself, but I am going to focus on furthering my education and enhancing my drawing skills. Besides, I have to have something to do once the weather changes and I can't go in my pool anymore!

    Today life seems "not so bad". Let's hope it continues. Blessings to all.

Tuesday, August 15, 2023

 

    It's already been a couple weeks since I wrote...my goodness, how fast time goes by when you don't pay attention. My sister sent me a few more things recently, one being this neat t-shirt with my birth year on it. I thought about the different interpretations it could have. I suppose I am considered vintage in some ways. I still get confused about what exactly I am; "boomer", "middle age", "silver generation"....and so on. Oh, and let's not forget that "60 is the new 40"! I do believe society in general is trying to be healthier; looking for ways to eat better, supplements to take, finding exercise that fits their lifestyle, etc. I can relate after dealing with the life-changing event of having cancer. I am nurse and I work 12-hour shifts, so I do consider those nights my exercise! (at least for those days). The other days, I am really trying to do something, even if it's a "little" something. I do have a pool, and that is helpful for days when it's not raining. The weather here in South Carolina stays hot for a long time usually, so I do have an extended pool season. There has been more rain than usual and some weird weather like everywhere else in the world, but I have managed to get some pool time in regardless. The biggest challenge with that has been keeping it clean and the chemicals balanced. I got rid of my pool service when I was out on medical leave to save money. Google, You Tube and Tik Toc have been my resources! 


I was watching some videos on You Tube from successful strategies, motivational people, and general uplifting information...and the main thing I heard several times is that if you want to learn something, "google it" or go on You Tube. I imagine it's true, it certainly has taught me a few things. I suppose caution should be taken to make sure it's adequate and credible information, so I am "choosey" when watching. I've learned that information comes in waves and fads just like that latest "anything"...so sometimes I will see several people posting same information with their own twist on it. 

    In earlier years, if I wanted to learn something...I read books. I felt like if I read several different materials about a particular subject, and saw a recurring theme in many of them, then they must be true! I surely do not depend on social media to be my learning sources in general, but a small percentage can't hurt, right? I usually utilize a combination of social media, audiobooks, real people and real books. This seems to work for me, so I don't get sucked into a rabbit hole with only one source of information. Recently I decided to look into going back to school. One of the Technical Colleges locally is claiming to offer "free tuition" for a good number of degrees and certificates. I am not sure what the catch is, or if there is one...but I am checking into it (why not?)! They say to never stop learning. My theory is to be able to get off the floor and out of the hallways with my nursing career. I am tired of running the halls. I'd like to do something different and perhaps more specialized. 

    I think with Covid back on the rise again, I really want to get out of the hospital. I am already wearing my mask again and ordering plenty of vitamin C and Zinc; along with lots of other supplements to add to my routine of "trying to stay healthy" vs. "trying to get healthy". I must admit being worried a little about it, but what's going to happen is going to regardless, so I need to be ready. I have been paying more attention to how much of our foods have additives and preservatives as well. I can't avoid all of them, but I can certainly make better choices with much of it. I am making changes where I can for now. When I am ready, I will pick another area or two to work on! That's it for now! Peace!

    

    

Wednesday, August 2, 2023

Picking My Battles


     I always said that I save my energy for the "big stuff". I don't like getting upset over little things. Sometimes the world is full of bad news, unfortunate events and discouraging things. All of it can affect our spirit. We feel sympathy and sadness when things happen, then we must work through those feelings and continue to keep ourselves strong. 

    Especially when we experience challenging times in our own lives. I am a natural worrier, call it my zodiac, my personality, how I was raised...whatever it may be. I think too much sometimes as well. In any case, I constantly look for ways to manage it, working through distress, sadness, fear and any other emotions that accompany those unexpected events we are faced with. Even within our own circles and families we can have frustrations and discouragements; and sometimes it may seem that at the moment they want priority given to them. It can be a balancing act; to be available to the ones you care for as well as taking care of yourself. 

    I had a lot of "time" on my hands during the past year or so. Some was due to recovering, and some was simply from "trying to figure things out". I am back to work now, which helps a lot; but I find myself still wondering if this is what I really want to do.  My perspective has changed some, which opens up the question of "other possibilities" that could be out there. I wonder if this is a good time to really go after those dreams and goals. I also struggle with the fear of defeat like so many. Part of me wants to just stay where I am and focus on securing my financial future as best I can; but part of me wants to do something more enjoyable that will nurture my soul. 

    I don't try to sugar coat anyting, but I do try to "accept" some things as they are knowing I cannot change them. My main focus is learning to navigate through those things that are not in my control. For example: I cannot control the fact that I got cancer, but I can control what I do in the process to live longer, be happier and be able to plan for whatever may come in the future (even if I do not know). 

    I cannot predict the future, so why worry about it? This isn't to say I don't still struggle with that very thing...but I do try to talk myself out of the worry when I feel it coming on. I am constantly finding ways to ease my mind and fill it with encouraging things. It's not denial, it's more like balancing the reality of life with its truths and facts, and the things I can do something about. 

    I feel like whatever impact I can have on others, somehow helps me to be a more fulfilled person. Not only does it affect my health, but often the well-being of others. After all, isn't that why we are here in the first place? 

Sunday, July 30, 2023

Hobbies Are A Must

 

    After the first surgery, I obviously had a lot of time on my hands. Once I started feeling better, I was going stir crazy being home. I rekindled my love of sketching, painting, drawing and coloring. I did some journaling, but that didn't last. Those wonderful "color therapy" books were great. They took a lot of concentration, and precise coloring, especially in some of the tiny areas! 





  I must have colored 10 or more books full of pictures. I used markers, gel pens, colored pencils and whatever else I had around. It took me hours to do some of them. They were a regular item in my bag on chemo days while I sat waiting for all the infusions to finish. The problem I have now is what to do with all those pictures I colored! They are too pretty to throw away, and I spent "waaay" too much time on them to get rid them! It was as therapeutic and stress relieving as they claim to be, they really do work. 

    I sketched a bit too; something I enjoyed doing since being a young girl. My mind would fill up with dreams of being an artist someday...living in a world of creativity! Renewing my amateur interests again helped balance me during the more difficult times. Many art supplies had been given to me over the years by friends, family and co-workers. It had been a very long time since I tried doing anything with them, though. I get discouraged easily if I find it "not as nice as" other talented artists; or "never good enough" to sell or put on exhibit. It is one of those secret passions that I just never fully explored. 
    I am my own worst enemy as they say. When I recently went out of work for the second surgery, I made up my mind that I was not going to let myself become too discouraged again. Google and You Tube were my best friends! If you want to know something or learn something, they have it! 
    I listened to "Masters of Success" in their chosen fields, motivational speeches, tutorials on drawing and painting, and so much more. I had to nourish my mind and soul. During challenging times, too much quiet and idol time is not good at all. Thoughts invade your mind and worry takes over your ability to focus. 
I could not wait to get back to work...even if it meant with some restrictions! The job I was having second thoughts about, I am now very grateful to have; (for now anyway!). I pledge to find something every day to be grateful for!